kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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