I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
