Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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