is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
