Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
she told me i tasted like america
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
