I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
