My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
