I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
