I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
