You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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