Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
