I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Randomize
