she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize