I'm drive I can fine osifer
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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