you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Dignity is for republicans.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
