If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
