I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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