you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
