Farmville is her only friend.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
