i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
