Whoa Z and x make the same sound
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
