There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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