thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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