you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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