god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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