You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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