i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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