so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
