I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
