Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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