everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
