I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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