So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize