I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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