(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
