Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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