I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
