I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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