They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
