Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
