When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
