She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
