My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
