Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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