that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
