Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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