there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
