I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize