I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
