So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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