Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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