well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
