Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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