And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
