So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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