He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
