Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
