Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
