I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
