I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
