i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize