I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I love you. Go after that dick
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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