She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
