I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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