Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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