when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
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