I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
