Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
