ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize