the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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