ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
