i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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