Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
