We named our party play list daddy issues
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize
