She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
